I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
