Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
