So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
