dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
