Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
