I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Quick, to the slutcave!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
