what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
