I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
