yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
