so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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