I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
