where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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