i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize