I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize