He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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