just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
