You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
