We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize