ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
