shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
