Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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