My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
