How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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