direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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