just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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