I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
