dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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