So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
