R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
