Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
