Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Umm I'm too high to move.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
