I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
