i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
