hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
home. puking in laundry basket.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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