Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
