Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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