My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
