Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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