i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Will exercising make me less horny?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
