Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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