Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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