What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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