...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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