I can tuck mytits in my pants
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
