this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
