Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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