He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
my shit smells like andre
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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