i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
