You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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