It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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