i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
