I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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