So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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