weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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