Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
