Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize