This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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