two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
