I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
