i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
