This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
