At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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