So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
