Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
